


I'm Gonna Love You Through It

by KaeCooks



Series: Ruins of Rockford [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:28:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26149477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaeCooks/pseuds/KaeCooks
Summary: A first-person POV experiment. Told from Sylvie's POV as Matt comes with her to visit Amelia and Scott in Rockford one weekend.
Relationships: Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Series: Ruins of Rockford [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024948
Comments: 19
Kudos: 74





	1. I Can't Do This

It’s been a slow day at work. Thankfully, everyone around here has the sense not to mention it. Foster and I only got one call around lunch time for a kid who broke his leg trying out a new skateboarding trick. He’d been so embarrassed. His girlfriend had pulled it off flawlessly, according to their friends.

Back at the station, Matt volunteered to help me make dinner. I definitely didn’t need the help, but I could tell he was bored out of his mind, finally caught up on paperwork, so I said okay. We decided to make enchiladas, something easy to modify for red-meat lovers, white-meat enthusiasts, and vegetarians alike. Vegans are SOL, but they’re rare in the CFD and totally non-existent here at 51.

The kitchen area was empty, a rarity for any time of day, especially right before meal time. 

“I guess everyone’s taking a nap, huh?” Matt said, as surprised as I was at the empty room.

“Guess so,” I replied, tossing a sirloin steak at him so he could cut it into strips while I worked on the chicken.

“How’s your sister?” he asked. 

My birth mother’s husband, Scott, had decided to move back to Rockford with Amelia, my baby half-sister after she was born and we lost Julie two months ago. I was delighted that Scott decided to raise her, but I really wished that I could be a bigger part of my sister’s life. Scott told me I could visit whenever, so I’ve been driving the nearly two hours to Rockford between shifts. Scott’s been having a hard time adjusting to parenthood while coping with the loss of his wife. I do what I can to help him. Besides I love my Melie more than I’ve ever loved anyone. 

“She’s doing well. Scott invited me to come along to the last check up. She was a little over 10 pounds then.”

“I take it that’s a good thing?” 

“Yeah,” I reply. I can tell he’s wishing he knew the milestones better because he wanted to live that experience. He’s wanted a family for as long as I can remember. Life just keeps getting in his way. “A little small, but she was born early. Typically 2-month-olds are around 11 or 12 pounds.”

“She’s not far off, then,” he said, a small grin on his face. “Are you going to see her again tomorrow?”

I’m about to answer, but just then my phone rings. I take a quick glance at the caller ID then turn back to Matt. “Hey - um - do you mind finishing up the chicken? It’s Scott,” I say, holding up my phone. 

Worry flashes over his face. He knows just how strange it is for Scott to call me at work. He nods. “Go.”

“Thank you,” I say, then answer. “Scott. Is everything okay?”

“Yes. Yes, sorry, I know you’re at work,” he says, but he sounds panicked. I’m not sure what to make of it.

“Is Amelia -” I begin to ask, but he cuts me off. I can see Matt watching me out of the corner of his eye. He’s concerned too.

“She’s fine,” he says. “I’m just in a bit of a pinch.”

I’m still not convinced that everything is okay, but I’ll hear him out. “What can I do?”

“Some buddies of mine don’t know how to plan in advance and they’ve planned a get-away this weekend. I - I just wanted to know if you were planning on coming up? And if you were, would you mind if I wasn’t there?”

I finally let out the breath I’d been holding since the phone rang. The poor guy just needed a breather. “Of course!” I tell him. 

I hear him relax on the other end of the line. “Thank you so much, Sylvie. It’s just been so crazy here.”

“I can imagine,” I say, but I really can’t imagine what he’s going through. Scott just had to go back to work a week ago after some combination of grievance leave and paid time off. His boss told him to come back or he was fired. Somehow, Scott was able to negotiate working from home until he found a suitable babysitter for Amelia. Speaking of the baby, Amelia’s been getting fussier lately and poor Scott is totally on his own in Rockford. Add losing your life partner on top of all that? Oof. 

“So I’ll see you Friday, then?”

“Yeah. I’ll come up right after shift, if that’s okay.”

“That’s perfect. Thank you so much, Sylvie,” he says, and he ends the call. 

Matt watches me walk back around the counter and start back to work. “Everything okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, perfect. Scott was just wondering if I could babysit while he went away for the weekend. I figured I was coming anyway and I know he could use the break.”

“Want some company?” he asks. He’s come before. He loves Miss Melie so much and he’s totally effervescent when she’s in his arms. I can’t help but think how he might be with a baby of his own someday. 

I can tell he’s trying to keep a neutral expression, but hope twinkles in his eyes. “Who would I be to deny you the sweetest little baby cuddles?” I say, an invitation, before narrowing my eyes and pointing at him. “But you’d better share.” 

It’s only after he puts his hands up defensively that I realize I’ve pointed at him with the rather large knife I’ve been using to chop up the vegetables. Heat floods my cheeks and I quickly set the utensil on the counter. 

Then he laughs and smiles at me in a way that makes my insides turn to mush and I’m suddenly grateful my cheeks are already red with embarrassment. Time stops when his eyes meet mine. I never see him smile at anyone else like this. It makes me feel special, in a way I haven’t felt with anyone else and I can’t help but wonder if maybe he wants to be more than just friends too. 

The oven beeps to let us know it’s preheated, breaking our eye contact. We still need to assemble the enchiladas. 

__________________

Four days later, Matt knocks on the apartment door. Though the original plan was to leave straight from the firehouse, shift was crazy - a stark contrast to Monday’s shift - and we were both in desperate need of a shower and a nap. Scott understood completely, so Matt and I went to our respective homes, agreeing to meet again at noon. He’s early, of course. One of many things I lo-  _ No, Sylvie, don’t get ahead of yourself -  _ one of the things I  _ appreciate _ about him.

“Hey,” he greets, quickly glancing me over and walking in, correctly assuming that I’m not quite ready.

“Long time no see,” I say, shutting the door behind him. 

“I brought one of your weird hazelnut coffees,” He says, nose wrinkled as he extends a to-go coffee toward me. 

“What a noble sacrifice,” I tease, taking advantage of his extended arm and pulling him into a quick half-hug as soon as my coffee is safely in my hand. I pull back and there’s that smile again. His eyes are so soft when he looks at me. “I, uh, I’ll be ready soon,” I say quickly, forcing myself to look away.

“Take your time,” he says, but I’m already halfway back to my room. I step inside to grab my bag, tossing a couple last-minute additions inside. 

__________

We pick up lunch on the way to Rockford. I insist on paying since Matt’s driving. He tries to argue, fumbling around for his wallet when we pull up to the window, but I lean over him and hand my card to the cashier, shooting a triumphant grin at him. He shakes his head gently as I lower myself back into my seat and redo my buckle.

The cashier hands the card back in the receipt to him, which he passes back to me, fingers brushing mine. My eyes snap to meet his and we freeze for a moment, my breath caught in my throat. A car honks behind us and he quickly looks away and retracts his hand, pulling ahead to the next window.

I take my time stashing my card back in my wallet and returning my wallet to my purse. Matt’s speedy withdrawal has me nervous. He hasn’t looked back at me once while we’ve been waiting at the second window for our food. Maybe I’ve been misinterpreting the looks he’s given me. Now I can only hope that this weekend isn’t too awkward.

Now he’s handing me my bag of food and I’m careful to grab the bag as far away from his hand as I can and I stare into my lap as we pull around. How could I have thought he had any feelings for me? He was married to my best friend. Her up and leaving both of us brought us closer, but I never should have let thoughts of a relationship with him creep into my head.

We silently eat our food as Matt navigates to the interstate. I’m staring out my window or at my lunch, but I’m watching him out of the corner of my eyes for some sort of clue to what he’s feeling. His eyes never leave the road except for a quick glance at his lunch.

I finish eating my food and stash my trash back in the paper to-go bag, setting it on the floor.

“Screw it,” Matt says suddenly, whipping into the exit lane for a rest stop. 

I finally turn to look at him. We’ve barely been on the road for 20 minutes. Did he decide he didn’t want to go?

He cranks the truck into a parking spot at the far end of the parking lot, away from the other cars. 

“Is everything okay?” I ask.

He takes a deep breath and turns to me. “Sylvie, we’ve gotta talk,” he says gruffly.

I swallow hard. That is easily the most ominous phrase in the English language and the man I’ve been foolishly crushing on for months just said it to me. “Okay,” I say weakly, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth.

“Sylvie, I -” He closes his eyes and clenches his fists briefly. “I can’t do this,” he says, opening his hands and eyes again. 

My heart’s in my throat. I’m having trouble finding my voice. “C-can’t do what?” I ask. 

He pinches his forehead, gesturing between us with his other hand. I can tell he’s trying to find words for what he wants to say, so I stay quiet. I’m not sure I’d be able to speak again if I tried, anyway.

“Keep pretending like we’re  _ just  _ friends,” he says finally, looking at me with furrowed brows and eyes full of vulnerability and fear. 

His name escapes my lips, a gasp.

“Look,” he says, eyes darting nervously from one of mine to the other, “our friendship means  _ everything  _ to me and I realize exactly how much I just  _ royally  _ screwed up if that’s all you feel, but - god - Sylvie, I just - You’ve been my rock these last two years. I see you just being you. . . and I just  _ know _ I’ve gotta at least try to ask if, maybe, you want more than that.”

“Matt,” I say, only managing a whisper before my voice gets stuck in my throat again. I hastily unbuckle my seatbelt and scooch into the middle of his bench seat, throwing my arms around him before he gets the wrong idea.

“Is that a yes?” he asks cautiously. 

I pull my head off his chest and meet his eyes, nodding enthusiastically. In some combination of joy and relief, tears spring into my eyes. “Yes,” I choke out. “I want to be more than friends, too.”

Now, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me tightly against his chest. 

I really want to leave it there, to start the rest of our lives as  _ us _ , but there’s that nagging voice in the back of my mind that just has to know, “Matt? What happens if Gabby comes back?”

He slides his hands to my shoulders and gently pushes me backward so he can look me in the eye. “She left,” he says, matter-of-fact. “She left me, she left you, she left 51. She signed away  _ six years _ of our lives and sent it to me in a manilla envelope. When she visited last year, there was nothing left. And I promise you, it’ll never be her versus you. It’ll always be you. Plain and simple.”

His words wash over me, a tidal wave of assurance, and I throw myself back into him. He kisses my head and we just sit like that for a while before I finally release him, reaching for the buckle in the middle seat. A smile pushes his cheeks up to crease under his eyes and he puts the truck back into gear.

As we merge back on the interstate, he puts one arm around my shoulders. We stay like that the rest of the way to Rockford. 


	2. Hearing You Say It

Scott greets us at the door, Amelia fussing in his arms. “I don’t know what’s wrong,” he says, clearly stressed. “She’s fed, her diaper’s dry, and she hasn’t been up long enough from her last nap to be tired.”

I give him a sympathetic look and Matt reaches for my purse and overnight bag. I hold out my newly-freed arms and Scott gently transfers my sister into my embrace. 

“Ssshhhhh, darling,” I coo. “Melie, baby, it’s okay.” She begins to quiet, so I keep bouncing her gently as I pace around. “You were just driving your daddy crazy, weren’t you? Well let me tell you, baby girl, sister Sylvie’s got you now and we’re gonna give your daddy a break, right?” She’s fully quiet now, staring up at me. 

“She loves you,” Scott tells me, sounding a little jealous. “I can never get her to quiet like you can.”

“It must be the sister connection,” Matt offers. 

“Well, uh, I guess I’ll get going then,” Scott says quickly, grabbing his duffel bag from beside the door. 

“Have fun this weekend,” I say. I truly hope he does. “Don’t spend too much time worried about us here.”

“Oh I’m not worried,” he replies. “You’re amazing with her.” He steps closer and reaches to squeeze her shoulder as he says goodbye. 

On the way out the door, he gives us one last run down of where everything is and says to call if we need anything. He does warn us, however, that they might be out in the boonies and reception might not be great. 

We understand, of course, but we know we’ve got everything handled here. I raise Amelia’s arm and help her wave goodbye to Scott for the weekend. 

____________

It’s a blazing hot July weekend, so we spend the afternoon inside with Amelia. We give her a lot of tummy time. Matt lays on the floor beside her, doing supermans. He’s so ridiculously animated about it that I can’t help but laugh. 

“Miss Melie,” he says in a goofy voice, turning to the baby between reps, “just what do you think your sister is laughing about?”

She coos at him, a smile spreading from one ear to the other. 

“What’s that, little one?” he asks, then turns to me. “Sylvie, do you speak infant?”

He didn’t switch back to his normal voice to address me and I’m laughing so hard that my abdomen is beginning to hurt. “Not sure,” I manage finally. “But I think she said that my boyfriend is an absolute goofball.”

The expectant look on his face flashes to mock offense then to surprise before finally fading to an affectionate smile. “You called me your boyfriend,” he says softly.

“Well, that is what you proposed at the rest stop, isn’t it?” I ask.

“Of course,” he says, pushing himself up to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of me, “but there’s something alluring about hearing you say it.” 

Amelia starts to fuss then. She’s beginning to get unhappy with her position. Matt scoops her into his arms and she’s suddenly content again, big blue eyes flicking between Matt and me. 

“Well, can I say something else, boyfriend?” I ask, putting a flirty emphasis on the last word.

“Of course.”

“I know we just started this thing today, but I never want to stop calling you that.”

He cocks his head at me. “Not to get ahead of ourselves here, but does that mean I can never ask you to marry me?”

“Not to get ahead of ourselves,” I parrott, “but that is not what that means at all.” Amelia starts to fuss again, discontent in Matt’s arms. She wants me. I lean down and scoop her out of his arms. “If this works,” I continue, carefully gesturing between us with one hand, “I’d love nothing more than to spend every third day at 51 with you then come home to a family.  _ Our _ family.”

“But we’re not getting ahead of ourselves,” he says with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

I shake my head. “We’re not getting ahead of ourselves.”

Amelia makes a small squeaking sound, apparently her equivalent of a yawn. Her eyes are drooping shut. 

“Alright, Miss Melie,” I coo. “How about we get you to bed?”

She doesn’t answer, of course, but her eyelids are getting heavier. I carry her to the nursery and sit in the rocking chair, singing a soft lullaby as she falls asleep in my arms. I switch my singing to humming for a few minutes before I finally decide to take her to her crib. 

“Good night, little sister,” I whisper, planting a soft kiss in her hair before putting her down in her crib and securing the side bar. 

I make sure the baby monitor is on and turn the lamp off, returning to the living room. Matt’s moved from the floor to the couch. I take a seat beside him and he wraps an arm around me. I lean into him and it already feels so right. 

“You should sing more,” he says quietly, “you have a gorgeous voice.”

“You heard that?” I ask, heat creeping into my cheeks.

“I did, and I’d love to hear more sometime.”

“Well, you know, I’m here all weekend.”

He turns toward me with an amused look.

I smile in return, laughing quietly so I don’t wake my baby sister.

We sit there quietly for a while, content just to be in each other’s company. Matt is the one to break the silence. “So how do we want to handle sleeping arrangements?”

When he’d come with me before, we argued over which one of us should take the queen-sized bed in the guest bedroom. I had eventually persuaded him to take it, and I slept on the couch. Now though, we were officially more than just friends. 

I fiddle with my watch and shrug noncommittally. “What do you want to do?”

“Are you comfortable sharing a bed?” he asks, brows furrowed in uncertainty. “If I promise to behave?”

“You behaving is the least of my worries, Matt.”

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s worth a shot,” I tell him sincerely. Then, playfully nudging him, “If you snore too loud, I’ll just find my way out to the couch.”

He feigns offense. “I don’t snore!”

I push myself off of the couch, holding my hand out to him. “We’ll see,” I say, then wink at him.

He grabs my hand and stands, following me to the bedroom. Now that we’re here, I’m nervous, but I don’t know why.

“Left side okay for you?” he asks.

I nod. I’ve been sleeping on twin sized beds for the last six years. There is no left or right side there. 

We both change into our pajamas and crawl into bed. I place the baby monitor on my nightstand and roll onto my left side. A thought occurs to me. “You know, I haven’t slept on my left side since before I broke my arm last year,” I say, tucking the edge of my pillow up between my neck and my shoulder.

Matt makes a soft, sympathetic noise and scoots closer to me, draping his arm around me. “I still feel bad for that, you know. You never should have been in there.”

I lay my right arm over his left, my fingers resting on his elbow. “You needed us in there, Matt. We were gonna go in anyway. Besides, I’m perfectly fine now.” 

"But still," he protests. 

"Quiet that mind of yours, Captain," I command gently, giving his arm a squeeze. "You made the right call."

He wraps his arm tighter around me. "Thanks, Sylvie," he whispers.

"You're welcome," I respond and squeeze his arm again. “You know I’m here for you whenever you want to talk right?”

“I do. And it goes both ways. Good night, Sylvie.”

“Good night, Matt.”

_________________

His arm’s still around me when I hear Amelia crying around three the next morning. I carefully extract myself from him and go to my sister. 

“Good morning, sunshine,” I say, scooping her out of her crib. “What seems to be the matter?” Her diaper feels wet, so I decide to start there, humming quietly while I work. She’s much more content when we’ve finished, but I think she’ll be getting hungry soon. “Hey Miss Melie, how about we go get some breakfast?”

She smiles up at me and coos. 

I can’t help but smile too. She’s got me wrapped around her little fingers. . . and I love it. 

Thunder rumbles outside. Matt had mentioned something about storms building in Iowa last night. I guess they’ve finally made their way to us. I wonder how Amelia will handle them. I momentarily panic. What happens if there’s a tornado?  _ Calm it, Brett, _ I scold myself. Scott has a basement. We’re perfectly safe here. Amelia will be just fine as long as Matt and I are calm about it. 

I pull open my weather app while the bottle’s warming up. Strong storms are likely, but they look to be going south of us. We’ll probably only get some mild thunderstorms here. _ See, Sylvie? No reason to worry. _

Matt comes into the kitchen. “Good morning,” he greets, then nods his head at the bottle. “Is that about ready?” 

I nod. I have Amelia in one arm and I haven’t yet put my phone down from looking at the weather, so he grabs it, testing a couple drops on the inside of his wrist. “It’s good,” he says, and he returns it to the counter, reaching out his arms. He wants to feed her. 

“Sure, you don’t wake up when there’s a stinky diaper to be changed, but you show up for the fun part,” I tease, and I hand her over anyway. 

“Well I’ll get the next one,” he says seriously. “We can’t make your sister do all the hard work, can we, Melie?”

He amazes me. “She was just wet this morning, it’s fine,” I say. I feel bad for lying, even if it was a joke.

He shrugs. “I’ll still get the next one. I didn’t ask if I could come along for the full weekend just for the baby cuddles. I’m here for all of it.”

I smile at him. He’ll make such a great father someday, so I tell him. “You’re gonna be such a great dad.” The reality of the situation hits me, and I awkwardly add, “You know, if we -” I swallow hard. “Someday.”

The corners of his lips tick upward and his eyes sparkle. He nods, appearing to acknowledge that he heard what I didn’t say.  _ I’d love to have kids with you someday. _ “Someday,” he parrots.


	3. Chapter 3

“Did Scott say when he was coming back?” Matt asks when we come back from a walk around the park Saturday afternoon.

I glance at the clock, wracking my brain. “You know, I don’t think he did,” I say slowly, a nervous feeling washing over me. “He probably just forgot to tell us. He knows we have shift tomorrow.” I hope he just forgot to tell us.

“You don’t look so sure,” Matt replies, reading my thoughts. 

Scott hadn’t been sure about keeping Amelia after we lost Julie. He asked me to take her at the hospital. I’d convinced him to keep her. What if he changed his mind?

“Maybe you should call him?”

I nod slowly. “Yeah, I’m sure he just forgot to tell us,” I murmur, trying to convince myself. I slide my phone from my pocket and Matt takes Amelia for a diaper change. 

I pull up Scott’s number and tap the screen to start the call. 

It doesn’t ring. 

_ It doesn’t even ring. _

And  _ not  _ because it’s going straight to voicemail. 

_ Shit. _

An automated voice comes on the line. “I’m sorry. The number you’re trying to reach is unavailable. This may be because you dialed a wrong number or the number you’re trying to reach is no longer in service.”

I hang up quickly. I just managed to hit something wrong when I pressed call. Or that’s what I tell myself. 

“Sylvie?” Matt calls from the nursery.

I take a breath to steady my nerves. “Yeah?”

“Where’s the extra diapers?”

Crap. How did I not remember to refill them? “Bathroom closet. I’ll grab you some more,” I tell him, grateful for a distraction. 

The distraction doesn’t last long, though. I grab a small stack of diapers from the shelf and an envelope drops off the top of the stack. It lands on the floor. I bend down to pick it up and notice it has my name on it. I swallow hard, trying to shake the nagging feeling in my gut. 

I shove the envelope in my pocket, unopened, and bring the diapers to Matt.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” I answer truthfully. I pull the envelope out of my pocket and rip it open while he’s changing the diaper. There’s a short note inside, nothing more.

_ Please forgive me. I just couldn’t be enough for her. She’s yours now. Everything you need is on top of my desk. _

I can’t breathe.

How could he?!

How  _ the hell  _ could he _?! _

Emotions flood my brain. Tears prick my eyes. I’m dumbstruck. I’m furious. I’m heartbroken for my sister. I’m scared for what comes next - for her and for me.

Matt looks terrified and concerned when he turns back toward me. I wordlessly hand the letter to him.

Now he’s pissed, too. “What the -” 

I subtly shake my head at him. We should have put Amelia down for a nap before we did this. 

He swallows whatever comment he was about to make, instead picking Amelia up off the changing table and handing her over to me. 

I take my sister and hold her tight against my chest. “I’m so sorry, Melie,” I choke out. “You don’t deserve any of this.”

She doesn’t know what’s going on. She’s far too young to understand, but I am one hundred percent broken on her behalf. I put her down in her bouncer. The toys above it immediately have her full attention - a huge relief to me. I’m so conflicted.

Matt sits on the couch and pats the seat next to him. I flop there and curl into him. He starts gently rubbing my back with one hand, the other clasps mine on his lap.

“He can’t do this, can he?” I wonder aloud. How  _ can  _ he do this? “What do I do, Matt?”

“I don’t know,” he says gruffly. He doesn’t have the answers either. “But we should probably start by telling Boden he’s going to need reliefs for both of us tomorrow.”

“Matt - you don’t have to stay here.”

“I want to.”

“Okay.” I decide not to argue, but there is something I want to address. “But Matt?”

“Yeah?”

I pull backward to look him in the eye. “I know we’re barely 24 hours official, so I just want to say now - and, I know it’s not official yet - but if this is worst case scenario, if Scott did just leave her to me, I- I have to take her. I don’t know if I’ll be Mom to her or Sylvie or what she’ll call me. I just know that I’m all she has left, and if that’s not something you want to go through, I understand. You have no obligation to stay.”

I’m searching his face, waiting for some kind of response. 

After what feels like hours, he raises his hands to cup my face, brushing a thumb over my cheek. He gently shakes his head. “I’m not going anywhere,” he says finally. “I’m here for you, for Amelia, for whatever comes next. We’ll figure it out together.” Then he leans in and plants a kiss on my forehead. 

Maybe it’s not the best idea on my part, acting under the influence of so many coursing emotions, but I lean in and kiss him right on the lips. He kisses right back, moving one arm to draw me into him.

“Thank you,” I whisper when we pull apart.

He smiles. “Anything for you.”

Amelia decides she’s had enough of her bouncer then, and Matt goes to her. 

“She’s probably ready for her nap,” I tell him, but he’s already halfway to the nursery. He’s already so amazing with her. I’m honestly relieved he wants to stay despite everything. I know I could do this without him, but I also know that I don’t want to. 

____________

While Amelia’s asleep, Matt and I go to look at what Scott left on his desk. 

Amelia’s birth certificate and social security card are there as well as a copy of a form Scott asked me to sign a month ago, making me one of Amelia’s legal guardians. At the time, he asked me to do it since I was “such a big part of Amelia’s life” and “ just in case something were to happen to him.” Now I wonder whether he was already starting to plan his grand escape.

Matt picks up a piece of paper sticking out from underneath it all and hands it to me. It’s another note. 

_ Sylvie, _

_ If you’ve found this, I know I’m long gone. I won’t say where I’m going, but I’m not coming back. Take anything from the house you want or need for Amelia. I know you’ll raise her well. _

_ Good luck and take care, _

_ Scott _

I crumple it up and let it drop into the trash can. I just became my baby sister’s everything. There’s no time for emotions anymore, just business. “I guess it’s official,” I say, turning to Matt and carefully studying his face. “Sure you want to do this?”

He puts his hands on my shoulders. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

___________________

We call Boden while Amelia’s asleep and explain the situation to him. He tells us to take as much time as we need and wishes us luck. It means a lot more coming from him than the scribbled note that Scott left. 

We start taking stock of everything around the house. Thankfully, I have two empty bedrooms in the apartment since Cruz got married and Emily went back to med school. After discussing it, Matt decides he’s going to move in. I already know I’ll be grateful for his help. 

By the time Amelia wakes up from her nap, we’ve decided what all we’re going to bring back to Chicago and what we’re going to leave here for Scott to clean up, however he plans on doing that. Matt starts browsing the internet, looking for the best deal on a moving truck. 

While he’s doing that, I go to scoop my sister out of her crib and situate her in my arms. “I guess it’s us against the world, Melie,” I say, looking down into her giant blue eyes. “I know you’re too young to understand any of this, but I promise nobody else is gonna leave you. I’m going to bring you home and we’re going to figure it out. You might have to be patient with me, baby girl. I’ve never been a mom before. But no matter what happens, you can be sure I’m gonna love you through it.” 

She blinks at me and coos. I pretend she’s telling me it’s okay, that she understands. 

“And we’ll have Matt,” I tell her. “He’s really good with kids, so hopefully he’ll know what to do if I don’t.” 

“You’ll be great, Sylvie,” he says from the doorway, making me jump. I didn’t hear him come in. He crosses the room and wraps one arm around me, tickling Amelia’s toes with his other hand. 

She beams and, in that moment, I know that everything will be okay. There’s a lot left to figure out, and we’ll have our differences, but - at the end of the day - we’ll be there for each other. That’s all that matters.


End file.
